A MARMALADE LOVE LETTER
Harlow – the Warrior Dancer: Her and Her Family’s Story
Sixteen years. One family.
And what Photography For Life looks like when it matters most.
“They are not just family photos, they are works of art.”
-Jamie P., Schaumburg, IL
Meeting Harlow and Her Mom For the First Time
I first met Harlow when she was about to be two years old.
Jamie, her mom, called me for a studio-based mini-session in early 2010. In my notes from that era I had the following jotted down about our scheduled time together, in and around the studio, to celebrate this soon-to-be two year old little girl:
“Saw Marmalade on Daily Candy…scheduled mini session at the studio…Harlow is shy, mom is not sure how to predict her reaction to the camera, getting over a sinus infection.”
“Shy“, her mom had told me ahead of time and I was ready with my usual bag of tricks. Jamie was right! Within the first few minutes of our meeting and her having fun showing off of her stuffed puppies, Harlow bashfully retreated behind Jamie’s legs. Eventually peeking out at me with the particular curiosity and wariness of a toddler who hadn’t decided yet whether to trust the woman who seemed ‘ok’ behind that black box in front of her face (the camera being that black box).
When asked about her favorite time or her favorite image from our times together, Jamie responded:
“…Each and every session brings truly individual memories. Marianne has so many great locations she likes to use to shoot and each has a very different feel from the other so I have very specific memories of each. If I had to narrow it down, I would say one would be the very first session we did. My daughter was two years old, very shy, and I was extremely nervous that this just wasn’t going to go well. Needless to say I was very wrong. Not about my daughter, she in fact was as shy as normal but one of my very favorite photos of all time is a photo Marianne captured where she was hiding behind my legs and peeking out. Marianne was able to capture that moment in time of her personality, something that I had thought would be a hindrance and what a joy it is for us to see now as she’s on the cusp of being an adult how sweet and shy and playful she was as a little girl…”
What’s weird to me, as the witness to seeing a shy babe grow into a beautiful young lady is that I too remember little moments from Harlow’s sessions. I recall fondly how obsessed the toddler Harlow had been with her little stuffed animals. Then when I was writing up this Love Letter and went into the archives to extract those circa 2010 images: to see that my memories were accurate was fun and it also reminded me how much affection I have for all my subjects and for the memories created from their inspiration. I remember so many little tidbits about so many of my clients – it’s all rattling around in that noggin of mine waiting to be extracted for times like this!
And for the session: Jamie’s instinct was so correct – bringing those stuffed dogs to our session created a bridge of sorts between shy toddler and photographer. The bridge we would cross during our time together wasn’t just mutual love of dogs, it was trust. And that trust was a reaffirmation to me: the best kind of relationships are earned. And when a photographer earns that trust: a “say cheese” smile and pretty lighting cannot even begin to compete with a real moment that was earned. By trust.
“Working with Marianne is truly the best. I still get nervous every time we decide to book a photo shoot because that’s just my personality. I should know by now though that Marianne is an expert at putting everyone at ease. From leading up to the photo shoot and answering any questions you may have about wardrobe, location, etc to putting you completely at ease on the day of, a photo shoot with Marianne is really a lot of fun. Even if you have nerves in the beginning, I promise by the end you’ll wonder why you ever felt that way. Shoots feel like a day hanging out with a friend who just happens to have a camera. I promise you the hardest part of working with Marianne is when the photos come back and they’re all so darn beautiful that it’s impossible to choose which ones to get (my tip – buy the digital images so you can save yourself the angst and keep them all!).“
– Jamie P., Schaumburg, IL
Jamie was sure to let me know they never really wanted studio or traditionally posed imagery, she being the boots-wearing-goddess she is always came to our sessions coordinating her family beautifully…no jeans-and-white-shirt standard family photo fare here!
Jamie saying that she and her family were nervous before shoots cracks me up. I never not once noticed that while I had the camera focused on any of them. They so naturally fit together.
Jamie made sure to highlight that her goals were imagery that reflected who they actually are as a family. Images that would stand the test of time.
Sixteen years later I can tell you with certainty: they do stand that test.
What These Images Mean to the Family
“How do I even describe how much these photos mean to me. We all treasure them. They show not only how our daughter has grown over the years but also how we as parents have grown and our bond as a family has grown and developed.” – Jamie P. Schaumburg, IL
There is an aspect in the Marmalade Photography experience that is intentional, something that Jamie and many other clients have also mentioned: every time Jamie looks at any of these photographs she is taken back to exactly where they were made. The location. The light. The feeling of that specific afternoon.
That is not an accident. That’s the whole point! I remember writing copy for one of my websites EARLY early on how I endeavored to make the photo taking experience part of the memory. The whole concept of people coming out to my pretty Marmalade Locations was a whole field trip vibe! It’s not about making pretty pictures, it’s about memory making in the process. But that also carries over when I travel to my clients. I want them to remember specific moments and not just the photographed ones. The intentionality of grounding my subjects to that time and space is so important for memory making. You see: I’m not just creating photographs…I aim to create memories that happen to have photographic support.
The strong belief that images worth making are the ones that return you to a moment rather than simply documenting that they existed has been a Marmalade hallmark since 2005. And I am so grateful that Jamie understood that from the very beginning. She came to our first session not looking for portraits – she came looking for something to hold onto.
“…what brings us back time after time is her way to magically capture not just beautiful images of our family itself but the beauty of the nature and environment around us. I didn’t want studio shots or jeans and white shirt standard family photo fare. Lots of people can learn to use a camera and use it well but to have an eye to capture true connection between families and moments that not everyone can identify and do it in unique and beautiful locations is truly a gift. We didn’t want family photos that looked like everyone else’s or wouldn’t stand the test of time, we wanted photos that reflect our unique family and what we love and value and Mare has a magical way of always capturing that.”
– Jamie P., Schaumburg, IL
The Details That Matter: Spontaneity, Reflection, Memory Making
In sixteen+ years of photographing Harlow and her family I have learned that the moments worth capturing are rarely the ones anyone plans for.
Spontaneity is the art of engaging in non performative actions and children are masters at being spontaneous. It’s one of the reasons I so very much love photographing kids – their ability to act on impulse is a breath of fresh air and for adults like myself, who absolute thrive while documenting natural relationships and interactions, it’s akin to letting a fish swim in water.
During a session in which we were able to schedule Ben, Harlow’s dad, in for family photos, Harlow had some time to explore one of my coolest locations. She was fully school aged requiring less management than before and I saw the no-longer-shy kid becoming a full fledged happy-go-lucky-wanting-to-explore child. Still not fully performing for the camera, needing only minimal direction to stand in a spot to be photographed in. Then Harlow did something not-so-incredible to the naked eye.
She picked up a rock.
Now if you’re a rock hound girly (or guy) you’ll understand the enchantment of rocks but most people, sadly, do not. The result of this inspection and play ended up being one of my favorite images of Harlow…maybe in my top 50 favorites of all time.
In that moment I saw (and experienced) magic. To round the cuteness out: she’s wearing the cutest of dresses with a smart velvet coat while exploring in the urban rubble of our site. It’s one of my favorite images exploring the magical nature of childhood: specifically the magic of curiosity and exploration.
“Marianne has a way of seeing the beauty in the smallest of details that bring you back to a moment in time.”
– Jamie P., Schaumburg, IL
As a photographer focused on relationships (not with just each other but how you all move within a setting) the “smallest of details” matters.
Does the air smell like burning leaves today?
Is it too sunny to be by the water?
I hope they like this spot because the light is gorgeous!
Does dad look like he’s having fun?
Can I get those siblings to sit together and be silly?
LOOK HOW CUTE mom looks with that baby over there, I have to hurry up with this image so I can run over there and grab one of them before they stop interacting…
Oooh look at that cool rock!
Let’s see if I can make them peek out from behind their parent’s legs.
Ooooh, that’s a cool spot…let’s try that.
Oh they look amazing here, maybe even better if we shift into that light over there.
Literally anything that could be describe as: Shiny object! Squirrel!! goes through my mind.
Listen, I’m multi-tasking here. I’m trying to think a couple of moves ahead. Sometimes a kid picking up a rock scratches an itch in my brain that exists when I’m in ‘flow’. I literally feel SOMETHING when I can pause that moment…pause that magic so it can exist forevermore as a portrait.
Capturing the magic of childhood is something that never gets old. And the magic is simply just spontaneity and curiosity.
Photos of a Warrior
I want to mention something relevant to Harlow and her family and I want to be careful when I discuss it as it is not fully my story to tell. Disclaimer: I did discuss it with Harlow’s family before embarking on this Love Letter for Harlow and I’ll briefly touch upon it here.
The setting: early 2013. An image of Harlow appeared on the Chicago CTA promoting Miracle Network’s Chicago Lurie Children’s Hospital’s dance marathon. Harlow being a day 1 dancer making her the perfect candidate for the face of Miracle Network’s Dance Marathon hosted by Chicago’s Lurie Children’s Hospital!
Myself? Some of my early memories of Harlow include not just her little stuffed dogs but also her tippy tapping her little feet outside my studio back in 2010 and again in 2011. She was a natural choice to be face of the Dance Marathon!
Her visage carried across the city on public transit to commuters and tourists and strangers rushing home. People who would never know her and her family’s story and definitely didn’t know she was one of the strongest people I’ve ever known.
I was watching this child grow from a shy toddler into something else entirely – into someone whose image a city needed without knowing why. The face of movement and joy and adorableness.
The face of a warrior.
What I will say – and what Jamie has graciously allowed me to share – is that the photographs we made together across these sixteen+ years carries weight and that weight is both heavy and joyful all-at-once. Our images we’ve created together? They aren’t simply a record of childhood – they are full evidence of a life lived, fought for, and often celebrated during times of health and joy – something this family is more than grateful for. Everyday.
In Polish we say sto lat for well wishes of health, joy, prosperity and happiness. It means 100 years. Sto lat my dear Harlow.
“Marianne pays attention and listens carefully to not only what we say we’d like when we book a session but also each of our personalities while on a shoot so that she can capture the heart and soul of each of us. She manages to capture moments we don’t even always know are occurring until the photos come back.”
– Jamie P., Schaumburg, IL
The Ultimate Field Trip
Jamie has told me time and time again that she gets a little nervous before almost every session. After sixteen+ years – after everything – she still feels that pre-session flutter.
I kind of love that actually.
But what I love more? Those flutters disappear within minutes! I know because she tells me after the fact. Except maybe when flying about a thousand miles to the ULTIMATE Marmalade Location (so far anyway, there’s still time and places to explore)…that’s a lot of anticipatory nerves to hold onto.
You may be wondering: “What’s the ULTIMATE Marmalade Location?” The answer. THE BEACH. Duh. 😉
The Beach
We couldn’t swing a senior session in Harlow’s favorite of all places: Hawaii…so we took to the Southeast Coast of North Carolina…a place I am more than a little familiar with. Sure it’s no Hawaii but it has sand, sea and character! And frankly it’s one of my favorite places.
When we discussed a beach session – we could’ve easily opted for one of the family’s other fave places: Michigan (specifically Lake Michigan) but the sun, sand and (ahem) warmer weather of NC beckoned.
Spoiler alert: it wasn’t as warm as it tends to be in October but it was warmer than Illinois anyway!!
Harlow handled the sea and sand of NC like a champ. We took two evenings to create some incredibly fun imagery and had a blast. We watched some surfers do their thing, trekked through UNCW for a quick stop, I spoke at length how I knew nothing about THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY but was willing to learn (filmed in nearby Wilmington), ate hibachi and some seafood, did some shopping and had a time.
Warrior dancers who side quest as mermaids deserve nothing less! Also Hawaii? Maybe next time…
“Photo shoots can be stressful but Marianne has a way of putting everyone at ease and you would never know in any of these gorgeous photos that anyone had any nerves at all.”
– Jamie P., Schaumburg, IL
What Keeps a Family Coming Back
I think about that a lot. The trust that lives inside the pre-photography session nervousness. You can only feel that particular kind of vulnerable anticipation with someone you believe in. Jamie keeps coming back not because the nerves are gone but because she knows what waits on the other side of them. To me? That’s the ultimate testimonial.
To say that I am grateful for being entrusted with so much is an understatement.
“Shoots feel like a day hanging out with a friend who just happens to have a camera.“
-Jamie P., Schaumburg, IL
The returning of clients-turned-family is the highest compliment I could achieve. I have grown quite an amazing family through my adventures as Marmalade the Photographer…and I hope to be able to continue to create for Harlow’s family and all the other families I’ve worked with for years to come.
It’s not only my life’s calling, which I take very seriously, it is an honor to create memories of people that I come to feel so warmly about.
In Closing
I hope I have honored Harlow and her family’s story in the way they deserve to be honored. Sixteen years+…the tale of the Warrior Dancer will continue.
To Jamie – thank you for trusting my talent to tell your story and to paint your memories with photos. For allowing me into your lives. For understanding what I aim to create for my people: from that very first session with a shy two year old peeking out from behind your legs to the creation of final artwork that graces your home and hearts.
To Harlow – girly: you’ve taught me about living my life since right before you were two years old! You’ve taught me about joy, about patience, about paying attention. About living life the best way: by being present in the moment. I have a lot of highlights in my career as a photographer but one of the great privileges of this career has been to watch you grow up and be the best version of you: the brave girl who knows herself so well she is willing to conquer land, sea and the dance floor. Sto lat, beautiful girl!
And finally to Ben: we missed you in N.C.. Next time! I look forward to commiserating about hometown antics and walking down Joliet memory lane (we didn’t know it at first but Harlow’s dad and I grew up in the same hometown and have some mutuals that we figured out pretty quickly!).
Thank you all. For every moment past and the moments to come!
Thank you!
xoxo,
Mare
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